Tag: bipolar disorder
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Chapter 9: Depression’s Silence
If mania is fire, depression is ice. It crept in quietly—no warnings, no alarms. Just a slow, smothering frost settling over everything. The brightness drained from the world, one color at a time. My laughter felt like a lie, my presence like a burden. I wasn’t living—I was enduring. There were days I couldn’t get…
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Chapter 8: Mania and Me
Mania doesn’t knock.It breaks in like a lover returning home—familiar, thrilling, dangerous. At first, it feels like freedom.Like finally waking up after a long, bitter sleep.Everything glows. Ideas sparkle. Words come fast and brilliant and unstoppable. The world opens, and I belong to it—fully, loudly, electrically. I remember the first signs like a private ritual:…
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Chapter 7: The Hospital
I didn’t choose the hospital.Not really. I was unraveling, but I couldn’t see it clearly—not then. My thoughts were racing, louder than reason. I hadn’t slept in days. I was euphoric, invincible, irritable, full of ideas I couldn’t hold onto long enough to finish. My voice was too loud, my movements too fast, my heart…
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Chapter 6: The Medicated Soul
The first pill felt like defeat. It sat in my hand, harmless in appearance—small, round, sterile. But it carried the weight of every fear I had about what it meant to be “mentally ill.” Swallowing it felt like admitting something permanent. Like giving in. Like confirming that maybe I couldn’t fix this on my own.…
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Chapter 5: Navigating the Stigma
The diagnosis didn’t come with a map.It came with silence. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I barely knew how to tell myself. “Bipolar disorder” felt like a mark—less a diagnosis than a scarlet letter. It wasn’t just something I had. It became something I feared others would use to define me. At first,…
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Chapter 4: The First Diagnosis
I didn’t walk into the doctor’s office expecting a revelation. I just wanted something—anything—that might stop the unraveling. By then, everything inside me was slipping loose. My moods were whiplash. My thoughts moved too fast or not at all. I couldn’t sleep for days, then I couldn’t wake up. I lashed out. I cried for…
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Chapter 3: Everything and Nothing
There were days when I felt everything—loud, bright, electric—and others when I felt absolutely nothing, like I’d vanished into thin air while my body moved on without me. No one prepares you for that kind of duality. No one teaches you how to live in a body that swings between extremes like a pendulum on…
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Chapter 2: The World Tilted
When you live in a home built on unstable ground, you learn not to trust your footing. I grew up in a world where reality shifted without warning—where smiles could turn into screams in seconds, and love came laced with fear. I didn’t understand the rules because they kept changing. One moment I was a…
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Chapter 1:The Storm Without a Name
Before anyone called it bipolar disorder, before any diagnosis or medication or therapy, it was just… me. Me being “moody,” “too sensitive,” and “dramatic.” Me feeling everything too hard or not at all. Some days I woke up like a sun exploding—full of ideas, ambition, fire. Other days I was stone. Still breathing, still blinking,…
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Introduction to My Memoir
I never wanted to write this. For years, I lived in the noise inside my head—louder than thunder, quieter than a whisper. It took the shape of racing thoughts, sleepless nights, euphoria that felt divine, and darkness that pulled me under like an undertow. Bipolar disorder doesn’t knock. It kicks down the door, wears your clothes,…
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Overcoming Obstacles in Blogging: A Path to Sanity
I have tried to write on my blog many times since August, but it’s been one hell after another since then. It used to be and still can be my Natural Balance. My balance has been itchy since then, and it’s not my fault, per se, but the fault of the world around me. The…
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Navigating Abuse and Mental Health: My Story of Survival and Redemption
The author reflects on their journey with bipolar disorder, recounting a tumultuous past with abuse and struggles. They prioritize their daughter’s safety, seek help despite financial constraints, and establish a support system. The narrative is marked by resilience and a determination to navigate life with bipolar disorder, offering insight into the challenges it presents.
